Giving children a voice – the role of child inclusive mediation in family separation

Mediation offers numerous benefits for separating families, promoting healthier outcomes for parents and children while fostering more effective co-parenting and family dynamics.

Among the options available, child inclusive mediation stands out as an effective option where the children are of an appropriate age to engage. This method ensures that the voices of children are heard in decisions that directly affect their lives.

What is child inclusive mediation?

Child inclusive mediation is a non-court option where children participate in the process. Unlike traditional mediation, where parents or guardians represent the child’s interests, this approach seeks provides children with a platform to express their views, feelings and needs. Trained professionals facilitate the process to ensure their contributions are heard and integrated into decision-making.

How does child inclusive mediation work?

The process typically follows these steps.

1. Mediators meet with parents to discuss the mediation process and assess whether it’s appropriate to include the child/children.
2. A specially trained child inclusive mediator may meet with the children to create a safe and comfortable environment for them to express their thoughts and feelings. This session is kept separate from the parents to encourage the children to be open and honest.
3. The mediator facilitates a discussion between the parents in order to present the appropriate feedback from the child.
4. With the child’s input, the mediator works with the parents to create solutions prioritising the child’s welfare and best interests.

After a resolution is reached, further sessions may be necessary to assess how the child is coping with the new arrangements.

Why include children in mediation?

Children’s lives are directly impacts – Children are directly impacted by decisions made by their parents or in some cases, by the court. Child inclusive mediation ensures that children

are acknowledged by listening to their perspectives and having them contribute to the outcome that will affect their lives.

1. Empowerment and acceptance – being heard can help children feel valued and respected, often leading to positive acceptance of the situation and outcomes.
2. Better outcomes – by getting to express their opinions, children are more likely to accept the decisions made and adapt positively to the changes in their family circumstances.
3. Improved communication – the process helps parents better understand the emotional and psychological needs of their children.

Challenges to consider

Child inclusive mediation isn’t suitable for all families. Some children may be unwilling to participate in the process and their age, maturity and behaviour must be carefully considered. It’s essential to manage expectations and help the children understand the process and their input, while important, may not always lead to the outcome they desire.

Child inclusive mediation represents an empathetic approach to conflict resolution in family disputes. By prioritising the voices and emotional wellbeing of the children, mediators can help families navigate difficult changes following separation in ways that are both respectful and constructive, helping to establish healthier dynamics moving forward.